Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Where I'm at (or where am I?)

I seem to be floundering... partly in due to a debilitating headache for the past 3 days. I've lost my sense of "what i'm doing", but in honesty, I think it's the calmness of life! The drama is gone, the craziness and hectic parts of my last 6 years has passed and i'm kind of at a loss for what's next. I know God has a purpose and a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Christopher is pushing hard for us to go to one specific new church. Should I listen to him? That's what my parents did and it was the best decision for me. I on the other hand, want to visit one more. BUT.... Is it for selfish reasons???? Am I trying to get back what I feel I lost? I really didn't lose anything, I gained tons. I gained my family's respect, I gained time with my family, I gained an awareness of what ministry is and what it is not! Christopher has truly excelled away from the madness and drama of what where I was turned me into. He has had a very impressive summer with basketball
camp, and landing two solos in music camp next month. We leave for the beach with friends and family this weekend. Life is good, so why am I so torn. I need to turn back to the Word and let God lead the way. I think I've gone back to trying to figure things on my own, and I've already proved that doesn't work! That's my rambling for the night. I'm going to go to bed and lay it at the foot of the Cross. God knows.... He knows! Peace is what I need, and He is the only one who can give it to me!!!! Thankful for my blog and my blog buddies who always direct me back on the right path. I don't feel so conflicted any more. Somehow writing it all out gives me a much clearer picture of what I'm here for and why! My God, My family, and my friends! That's it! That's where I'm at!

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*Walk with your eyes open, live a life examined; abide in Christ so that you can see with the eyes of Christ all the chances you have to change the world one obedient opportunity at a time.

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